Choices

We all have a choice. Choices are made constantly everyday. Red shirt, green shirt? Toast or yogurt? PB&J or Turkey? This road or that road? Most of these choices are easy. We make them according to how we feel or what we want or even what is most convenient. In the last few days here in Uganda, I am finding myself stuck in the rut between knowing i have to make a choice and choosing the right one. Making choices would be so much easier if I gave into my flesh, but the strength of the Lord inside of me is too strong to let that happen.

These choices I speak of hit me minute after minute in this beautiful yet broken place.

When I get "susu-ed" on by a child I know can hold their susu, I have the choice to get angry or to be patient.

When I wake up and feel homesick, I have the choice to give in and cry or to rely on strength from the Lord.

When I hear about a parent deglecting to help their sick child, I have the choice to hate them or to pour out grace. 

When I didn't get enough sleep, I have the choice to be grumpy or be filled with joy from the Lord.

When I can't eat my peanut butter toast because the electricity went out and the toaster and lights in the kitchen don't work, I have the choice to get pissed or I can have a positive attitude about it. 

I have to consciously stop myself before I make the wrong choice. It is so easy to let my flesh get mad or tired or hateful, but that is not what a life lived walking in faith with the Lord looks like. Being faithful is not just an expression or something we say we have. Faith is an action. We can't expect to have faith with no action. Faith requires conscious choices, a desire to grow and to seek the Lord. I am learning this everyday, having faith in the Lord is something I must pursue.

To be honest, I stink at making the right choice. Even when I stop and think about it I don't always make the right choice. I've come to realize if I rely on myself to have the right attitude, it won't happen. This is why we walk in faith, because he strengthens us at all times, but we must first stop, and call on him!

Writing this, it sounds so cliche. But this is what i am learning. I am not perfect at it, but I am trying.