So Broken

I am:

So weak.

So little.

So helpless.

So incapable.

So poor.

So broken.

In the midst of the chaos, confusion, heat, beauty, trials, hardships, loneliness, stress, smiles, dirt, and exhaustion of the my days here, I realize I am broken. I am beyond the capability to do anything of meaning. That is, without Christ. 

"Wow Pastor Terry, I really like that cross hanging on your wall," said Michelle about a hand carved wooden cross as we set the table for chili and cornbread. "Wanna hear the story behind it?!?!?" Pastor Terry said with so much excitement. "Sure!" we responded. He then told the story: "I was driving one of our teams to the airport to leave and we stopped at a craft shop so they could get some last minute souvenirs. I saw this cross hanging and spent a few minutes trying to figure out what it meant. You see, the hands on the bottom part of the cross are reaching up and the one on the top is reaching down. That signifies us reaching towards God but not being able to reach Him, and God reaching down to us out of love. But you see, without the two hands in the middle pointing out, connecting God's hand and our hands, we wouldn't be able to reach God.  It shows that without the death of Christ, we would be separated from Christ forever, left helpless and broken." Pastor went on to tell us that he explained this to the owner of the craft shop and she came to faith in the Lord.

I depend on my flesh to the point of idiocy. What can I do? How can I help? I can't. At least not without Christ. And then, I catch myself saying, "Ugh, wouldn't it be easier if I could just do it on my own?" Well maybe, but how would your life turn out.. completely empty. Being all the way across the world, without many of the distractions that I find in America, I can see from the outside, the emptiness in SO many lives. It hurts me. Why would I want an empty life, and not an abundant one in Christ? No reason.

In 2 Corinthians 11:2 Paul talks about the how the Corinthian church, one that is so messed up and immoral, is still presented to God as a "pure bride." All the immoral acts done by the people of that church, are wiped completely clean by the death on the cross. What a beautiful, freeing, amazing thing. Despite my brokenness, weakness, and incapabilities, Christs's death proclaimed me and you completely blameless.

We are so broken but with Christ, we can do all things.