The "S" Word
Friends, I'm afraid there's a problem that's having a snowball effect in our Christian communities, especially in our young adult and college student ministries. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of problems (cause after all we are sinners who constantly fall short of the glory of God). But this one seems to be particularly rampant and often paralyzingly for young believers, especially women.
This is kind of an impromptu blog post. A dear friend of mine and I have been praying together in the wee hours of the morning this week for this very thing and The Lord has taught me a lot this week.
Singleness.
*cue gasps and the changing of subjects*
Don't stop reading, please. Because I believe the Bible is very clear on this subject and we need to grasp it, meditate on it, and preach it to ourselves (married or single) on a daily basis. Marriage is the symbol of Christ and His bride (the church). Marriage is beautiful and is to be rejoiced over when it is in it's biblical context. Marriage is for two of Gods beloved children to become one, and to fight for His Kingdom, to further His Kingdom. Now hear this: NOT for your happiness. Yes, marriage can and will bring joy, and God will be glorified in that, but that is not the motivation behind marriage. Now, I'm not an expert on marriage in any way shape or form, but this is my understanding from a biblical view point. Please correct me if I've made a mistake.
You get that "Save The Date" in the mail months ahead of time announcing the marriage of two friends. We are to rejoice, to pray for the two who are to become one under Christ's leadership. So let's do this, let's be with them, love them, and encourage them, cause from what I hear it isn't all unicorns and butterflies forever ;)
BUT... You know what else is to be rejoiced? Singleness.
Now, I'm going to stop here because I know what you're thinking, "Oh no some other young single Christian girl wanting pity for being single."
Absolutely not. I am actually asking for the opposite, on my own behalf and other women around me, stop pitying us. Christians, we must stop wallowing in the self pity of singleness and we must stop allowing those around us to wallow as well.
Just like I mentioned marriage isn't easy (as far as I know), singleness isn't either. Women, I'm not saying to diminish your desire for a man after Gods own heart, because this desire isn't unbiblical. I too desire this. But most often we let a Godly desire become an idol. And it is no longer Godly, but despised by God, our jealous God.
I'm learning that singleness is strengthening. I have time and focus to put forth effort in areas that matter for The Kingdom. I can spend late nights doing ministry. Spending time having conversations that matter in the light if eternity. I can have 4 girls sleepover in my bed and pray and read scripture with them. I am not attached to another except Him. PRAISE GOD for this time.
So friends, let's stop whispering about singleness. We must stop letting in weave it's way into our mindsets as a viral infection that may never be cured. Because if I never get married, praise God, and if I do, praise God.
And most of all, let's stop focusing on it, and starting focusing on the Gospel and His Kingdom and His Glory.
Paul put it a lot better than I did (duhhhh) so read this:
"Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that." (1 Corinthians 7:25-28 ESV)
"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord." (1 Corinthians 7:32-35 ESV)
This is kind of an impromptu blog post. A dear friend of mine and I have been praying together in the wee hours of the morning this week for this very thing and The Lord has taught me a lot this week.
Singleness.
*cue gasps and the changing of subjects*
Don't stop reading, please. Because I believe the Bible is very clear on this subject and we need to grasp it, meditate on it, and preach it to ourselves (married or single) on a daily basis. Marriage is the symbol of Christ and His bride (the church). Marriage is beautiful and is to be rejoiced over when it is in it's biblical context. Marriage is for two of Gods beloved children to become one, and to fight for His Kingdom, to further His Kingdom. Now hear this: NOT for your happiness. Yes, marriage can and will bring joy, and God will be glorified in that, but that is not the motivation behind marriage. Now, I'm not an expert on marriage in any way shape or form, but this is my understanding from a biblical view point. Please correct me if I've made a mistake.
You get that "Save The Date" in the mail months ahead of time announcing the marriage of two friends. We are to rejoice, to pray for the two who are to become one under Christ's leadership. So let's do this, let's be with them, love them, and encourage them, cause from what I hear it isn't all unicorns and butterflies forever ;)
BUT... You know what else is to be rejoiced? Singleness.
Now, I'm going to stop here because I know what you're thinking, "Oh no some other young single Christian girl wanting pity for being single."
Absolutely not. I am actually asking for the opposite, on my own behalf and other women around me, stop pitying us. Christians, we must stop wallowing in the self pity of singleness and we must stop allowing those around us to wallow as well.
Just like I mentioned marriage isn't easy (as far as I know), singleness isn't either. Women, I'm not saying to diminish your desire for a man after Gods own heart, because this desire isn't unbiblical. I too desire this. But most often we let a Godly desire become an idol. And it is no longer Godly, but despised by God, our jealous God.
I'm learning that singleness is strengthening. I have time and focus to put forth effort in areas that matter for The Kingdom. I can spend late nights doing ministry. Spending time having conversations that matter in the light if eternity. I can have 4 girls sleepover in my bed and pray and read scripture with them. I am not attached to another except Him. PRAISE GOD for this time.
So friends, let's stop whispering about singleness. We must stop letting in weave it's way into our mindsets as a viral infection that may never be cured. Because if I never get married, praise God, and if I do, praise God.
And most of all, let's stop focusing on it, and starting focusing on the Gospel and His Kingdom and His Glory.
Paul put it a lot better than I did (duhhhh) so read this:
"Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that." (1 Corinthians 7:25-28 ESV)
"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord." (1 Corinthians 7:32-35 ESV)
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