One Stone

I woke up one morning. I had feelings of anxiety and feelings of being discontent. I slept past my alarm. Not the kind you're imagining, my alarm is typically the kids and mamas outside my window. I didn't have time to open my bible or my journal like I like to do in the mornings. I told myself I would get my alone time with God during the kids nap time. I jumped up, brushed my teeth, grabbed an instant coffee packet, and ran to the kitchen. I mean let's be real, it's me, I had to have that coffee asap. Just as my water finished boiling I heard, "Auntie, come!" School was starting! We sang the songs, I did the hand motions with the kids, sipping coffee when I got a chance. I hated mornings like this. My heart was elsewhere and my worries were taking over. I couldn't focus on anything but the things in my head. Saying goodbye to my kiddos here, decisions about school, decisions about my future, conversations I have to have when I get home that I don't know how to have. All these things spinning around in my head. On the outside, I was pouring sweat. It was the hottest day since I'd been in Uganda (yes, I still drank my coffee). Literally as I was sitting, sweat drops poured down my face and my arms. I held baby M. I held him from one group to the next. He was sweating as much as I was, if not more. We were in group 5 of 6... almost done! This group was the reading group. The kids I am normally with during school can't read, most of them are too young. I picked up the nearest book and began to read to baby M. It was a short, kid version of David and Goliath. I began to read, not with much enthusiasm. But then I began to feel God nudging me. "Josey, listen to the words you're saying." 

I started over:

 I read about how the Philistines were coming to attack. They brought Goliath, a tall tall man, to fight for them. Not one of God's people dared to fight against him. I mean, I know I wouldn't want to. Soon David came along with his sheep and heard of the news of Goliath. David wanted to fight Goliath for God's people. He didn't even take the armor the King offered to him. He took his sling and a stone. Seriously people, I'd be taking the sharpest sword known to man and wouldn't let an inch of my body be exposed. What faith! I paused and thought about how I struggle to have faith on a daily basis. What if I had faith like David did. The  thing is, David knew he wasn't doing this alone. It wasn't even by his strength that Goliath would be conquered. He had faith that God would deliver him from the giant if it were God's will, and if not, so be it. God defeated Goliath with one stone. And He didn't even need that. I sat there, with this precious baby in my arms marveling at such a young boy's faith. Wow! The thought of little M in my lap, having faith like that made me only want to pray that he would have that faith. That he would have faith in a God who rescued him already. Not just from bad people, but from his sins. I turned the last page of the book, and read a "note to parents" on the last page. Reminding them to make sure their children understand that David didn't defeat Goliath by his own strength, but by the strength of God. But what a reminder to the parents as well. David couldn't have done it without the Lord. 

I was so humbled when I shut the book. Even the children's books sitting on our Ekisa bookshelf to teach the kids about Christ and His Word, teach me. They remind me on mornings when I wake up worried about what will come next in my life, that no problem is too big for God. He is the God of all creation, and he holds my heart in His hands. If there is one thing I have learned since being here (and there are many) it's that God is bigger than any worry, hardship, or pain I would ever go through. But what I learned on this hot morning in Uganda, is that I am only human, and this isn't something you learn once, it's something you have to learn over and over again. 

So, while I still don't know how I am going to say goodbye, where I am going to school, how many years I will be in school, what I am going to do when I get home, or basically any plans after Feb. 14th, I can stand firm in faith, and know that no problem is too big for God to handle when you give it over to Him. 

And you know what else? Not only must I have faith that He holds my life in His very hands. He holds the future of every child here. He knows their ups and downs and He knows where they will end up in two, ten, twenty years. And it is so encouraging. God knows the future of Uganda and the future of Kenya. We heard news this morning of tribes fighting and many deaths in Kenya. God knows the future of that country. So we pray, for our brothers and sisters all throughout the world; people we will never know, that the Lord would protect them in their current sufferings. Whether governmental situations or health issues or what not, we pray. 

Because no problem is too big for God to handle. 

And this is baby M, just to give you a visual of the cuteness I get to experience on a daily basis! (and that smile is not just an every now and then thing, it basically never leaves his face) Jealous?